Day 64 - Things I Know to be True

These things I know to be true:

• If by chance I drop my morning toast, it will most certainly will land jelly side down.
• When I actually get around to bringing my car through the car wash, we will have an unbelievable rainstorm with tremendous winds that blow all the dirt right back onto my car.
• When I finally announce that I am going to start dieting, we get invited to a party with the most sumptuous food and desserts.
• The minute I start running the water into the kitchen sink for a quick clean up, I need to pee.
• The moment I add the last ingredient into a meatloaf, and my hands are immersed in the mixture, my nose will itch.
• After spending an entire day cleaning windows, invariably I have a fly-by, and voila, instant bird poop on my sparkling panes.
• Just when I make up my mind to purchase via Groupon, I get the message, sorry last one sold.
• If there are 4 lines in the check-out and by chance I get to the shortest one, it is a given that the person in front of me picked merchandise without a price tag.
• If we intend to go to a restaurant that offers an early bird special, we generally miss it by about 5 minutes.
• If there is some kind of animal poop on my back lawn, chances are pretty good that I am going to step in it, usually bare footed.
• If I wear a new, pricey outfit out to dinner, you can bet your bippy that there will be food dropped on it somewhere.
• And if I buy clothes that say, "Do Not Place in Dryer", it's a given, that hubby will be doing laundry that week, and I end up with something that might fit one of my grand daughters.